"Nothing can be unconditional; consequently nothing can be
free." George Bernard Shaw
Affectionate love is the type love we feel for
our parents, our brothers and sisters and those close to us in our daily lives. The Greek words storge (family love) and philia (brotherly love) are ancient sources of affectionate love which can be found in the
interpersonal love order “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
We’ve always been taught, religiously,
spiritually, to love our neighbor. That was the unselfishness. Not everyone can be, or should be a ‘Mother Teresa’
a selfless person who loves everyone; dedicates their lives to serve others who are in need (tragedy, disaster,
social injustice). Loving oneself doesn’t mean being egotistical. Ego,
taken from Latin, means ‘I am’. Aristotle said it better than anyone, “The essence is that which is and without
which it doesn’t exist.” Our essence is what we are and what we are not. For example, divide a paper and on the
left put everything you are not and on the right put down everything you are. On the left you might say, “Maybe I’m
not as caring as I should be”, but on the right side, “But I really do love”. The discovery that the right side
will be longer than the left should inspire one’s love of oneself (big note: all bets are off for the
Life is a long journey of discovery, wherein
each person must meet and love themselves, overcome their own fears, and learn the truth about loving. It is
a process of discovering, and then perfecting our souls' innate, God-given beauty and ability to love.
This may be easy for some, a challenging for most of us.
In ‘Religion – The Divine Within’ the
fundamental aspect of self-love was disclosed: to acknowledge the spark of the divine within us. That
self-love is not selfishness, but an awareness of our individual ‘divine spark’. Self-love is about
maintaining the ‘trinity’: the physical, the mental/emotional and the spiritual.
• Physical - to take care our bodies with good nutrition, exercise, hygiene and
sleep. To honor the ‘body
• Mental/Emotional - to learn to adopt a positive attitude and maintain it through tough times. It is very difficult to stay optimistic in a
negative world, but we have no right to be negative. To know not to return negativity after receiving it (it
isn't easy). To program ourselves not to get addicted to the pains and hurts. To cement the
intellectual with the emotion (very important) and that intellect must reign over emotion.
• Spiritual - to be "above the body" not "of the body" leads us to spiritual
wisdom. We can get bogged down with negativity when we stay earthbound in our bodies (Lower
Mind). The essence of spirituality is to link the God
within with the God without, to fight the battle against negativity, to extend goodwill in the light of
adversity and to realize that good - the good in us and the good in the world - will be challenged.
We should try to bringing light into the world, which is like the nature of of electricity – the positive
strives to meet the negative (the negative rises to meet the positive). We need to develop a clean ‘blue
line’ track; to stay on our written chart. No fault if you’re off-track –
you’ll just feel off-kilter to what you should be doing.
One Universal Law is, “As much good as you do for
other people, you are then guaranteed that your life begins to stabilize. Your mental, physical and spiritual
health will become better.” There are not very many Universal Truths, but this is one. The more you
give out and care for, love, give to others, the happier and healthier you will be.
The time-honored Golden Rule and its
complement, the Silver Rule, have been passed down over the centuries:
• Golden Rule: “One should treat others
as one would like others to treat oneself”.
• Silver rule: “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto
The Golden Rule is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human
rights, in which each individual has a right to just treatment, and a reciprocal responsibility to ensure justice
for others. The key is that doing good for others and offering charity should be voluntary, done out of
the heart. Charity and ‘good will toward men’ is rendered impotent when it is forced.
“In Hawai'i we greet friends, loved ones or
stranger, with Aloha, which means with love. Aloha is the key
word to the universal spirit of real hospitality, which make Hawai'i renowned as the world's center of
understanding and fellowship. Try meeting or leaving people with Aloha. You'll be surprised by their
reaction. I believe it and it is my creed. Aloha to you.” Duke's Creed - Duke Paoa Kahanamoku
"The ultimate obscenity is not caring, not
doing something about what you feel, not feeling! Just drawing back and drawing in; becoming
Rod Serling, screenwriter,
In regards to Brotherly Love, Duke hit it on the mark and
out of the park. Few have better interpreted and conveyed the spirit of brotherly love as the legendary Duke
Kahanamoku. Aloha - what a beautiful word to
encapsulate the spirit of brotherly love.
Friendships fall into three basic types:
Utility, Pleasure and Virtue.
• Utility – often found in business
relationships or relationships motivated by a common purpose or goal usually related to personal gain. In such
relationships, ‘friends’ often call each other colleagues, partners, teammates, associates, collaborators,
coworkers, affiliates, and sometimes acquaintances. Communication involves buying and selling things, or exchanging
ideas and teaming up to make money. This is not a bad thing, but as soon as that motivation is gone, so goes the
relationship between two people unless another motivation is found. Complaints and quarrels generally only arise in
this type of friendship.
• Pleasure – based on pure delight in the
company of other people. People who socialize together, share a hobby or an interest in a sport may have
such friendships. However, these friends may also part—in this case if they no longer enjoy the shared
activity, or can no longer participate in it together.
• Virtue – friendships where individuals enjoy
each other’s character. As long as both friends keep
similar characters, the relationship will endure since the motive behind it is caring for each other. This is the
highest level of philia - true friendship, sometimes friendship of a lifetime.
“A successful marriage requires falling in
love many times, always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin, Vogue Magazine
"I love you not only for what you are, but
for what I am when I am with you." 'Love',
“When love comes to town I'm gonna jump
that train. When love comes to town I'm gonna catch that flame. Maybe I was wrong to ever let you down. But I
did what I did before love came to town” 'When Love Comes to Town', U2 & B.B.
“One is not born a woman, one becomes
one.” Simone de Beauvoir, Social
“Hell is other
Sartre, Existentialist Philosopher (partner to Simone de
The Movie Mirror
Romantic Love can be viewed as a long running
theatrical play in the course of human affairs. Key themes in our romantic lives are often reflected in
romantic films: drama, comedy and the musical (song & dance). Like
the movies, romance can have a fairy tale quality to them where fantasy gives it a magical quality (‘Knight
on the White Horse’). There are other sub-themes in romantic movies, like action and adventure, mystery
and suspense or the ‘melancholy’, but those, for the most part, are simply for entertainment (contrived at
best, superficial at worst). Hopefully our romantic lives are not tragic, but unfortunately that drama
often cannot be excluded. Looking at that positively, a miraculous outcome can come out of a dark
drama, where the unexpected happy ending is the rebirth in a couple’s relationship or even a renewed faith in
life. Shipwrecked by the seas of sadness, one's self-love takes pride in not giving up and rejoices in
finding its life raft of rescue: “in my weakness, lies my strength.”
Romantic Love has its comic quality, like in the ‘meet cute’ plots of romantic
comedies where the potential couples meet in comic circumstances (run into each other while skiing or the ‘fender
bender’ incident). The humorous drama of awkwardness and clash of personalities often remind us of and endear
us to the people in our own lives. Of course romantic comedies can have contrived characters
(MPDG) and arch plots like in Woody Allen’s
film ‘Annie Hall’ where the impossibility of love is satirized. But that’s ok. If the movie gets us
to laugh that’s good; if it remind us of the powerful role of humor and laughter in love, even
Bungle in the
As the curtain rises on Romantic Love,
Anouchka Grose, author of 'Why Do Fools Fall In Love', narrates on love’s lair,
“With all the improvements that resulted
from the efforts of Ms.
Wollstonecraft and et al (ie, college, vote, have sex for pleasure, do interesting work), contemporary women
must wonder if the balance of power shift isn’t a complete solution to the problem of human misery. The
so-called natural world is mainly ordered around the notion that you have to be a bit tough and cunning if you want
to breed. There are bribes, lies, fights and pay-offs everywhere. Girl birds go out with boy birds
because they have good nests. Humans are unique animals in that we develop all sort of sophisticated ways in which
to overcome the limits of nature—we fly food around the world so we can eat strawberries any time, freeze our eggs,
cut bits off and add bits on, and pull all sorts of tricks in order to live—and mate—for bloody
“You led me down to the water's
‘The Spring where the Panthers came to drink
At night; there is always water here
Be the season never so parched and sere.’
Have we souls of beasts in the forms of men?
I fain would have tasted your life-blood then.” The Teak Forest,
If Love’s Law I and Law
II are born from Love’s Garden, then Romantic Love reigns from
Love’s Forest – an ancient forest full of beautiful and exotic creatures, pleasures and passions, delights
The bold achievement of humanity’s healthy
heart binds all the ‘Loves’: Divine love (love up); love of oneself, brotherly love and
romantic love (love down). The uncompromising empiricist can’t explain the torrential passion between young
lovers or a child’s fierce and inarticulate longing for his parents or a mother’s unshakable devotion to her
The heart of love’s forest has its “reasons
where of Reason knows nothing”. In a forest where blind babies know how to smile and reptiles do
The Golden Seat’s ‘Frame of Mind’ is spiritual
– a quest for spiritual discovery. One of the spiritual principles is that true human self-hood is
divine. And that its goal is to harmonize the two great movements in the Religious/Philosophical
Ascend: Matter to Spirit. The Many
to One. Transcendent. The path of
Descend: Spirit to Matter. The One to Many. Immanence.
The path of compassion.
From the Good Book, we find a glimpse of Love’s
“Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let
us delight ourselves with love”
Man: "As the lily
among thorns, so is my love among the daughters." Woman: "As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my
beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my
taste." (Song of Solomon 2:2,3)
So we come full circle where the ‘trinity’ of
love finds unity – Divine Love (Mother-Spiritual), Self & Brotherly Love (Father-Mental) and Romantic Love
(Son-Flesh). Where Love’s transcendent Garden embraces Love’s immanence Forest with wisdom and compassionate
grace. Love of God (Love Up), Love of Man (Love Down).
Journey of the Soul (Book 4 – Soul’s
Perfection) concludes on the nature of love:
“Very few of you in physical life know what
true love is. It is because on your plane of exitence, it really is almost impossible (infatuation is the
closest feeling). Because you get a brief glimpse of this with a partner of friendship, you are constantly
looking for the next “fix”. The older you get and the more rubbed down you are from life, the less it
comes. Something must replace it. Some deep inner peace and security that you are finishing out your
time, and you will go Home.”
“Every single one of you are individually
alone, making your way in a path to get back where you came from. You may select partners and companions
along the way. Because of your physical body and because you cannot merge, it puts every single one of you
into a state of isolation.”
“The only love affairs that last are the love affairs that you have with God,
yourself, and the deep abiding comforting love that you have for people around you. Infatuation is why so
many people commit and uncommit, because again they are looking for that gigantic thrill. It does not come
that often, nor does it last.”
Love - The Lighter Side