Love Quips
“We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.”   ―  Will Rogers

• Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

• A man in the house is worth two in the street.

• Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

• It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

• Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

• Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

• One good turn gets most of the blankets.

• Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

• Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

• A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

• Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

• If you're heart is broken, sweep up the pieces. There will always be someone who will want to put it back together.

• If a man speaks deep in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him; is he still wrong?

• No one is as fascinating as they think.

• The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.

• Love makes believers of us all. Translation: Love obscures common sense.

• In the eternal battle of the sexes, women are already the winners.

• When with your girlfriend you will always have gas.

• The man shalt not win the argument he started.  If he won, it was just in his head.

• Love has all the answers. But till then sex brings up some good questions.

• Sex on the TV can't hurt you unless you fall off.

• Never make love in your back garden. Love is blind, but not your neighbors.

• Love is blind. Marriage is an eye opener.

• Being honest with someone will always turn that person into an enemy.

• Even the most beautiful woman in the world has at least one guy who is tired of her.

• Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money.

• Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.

• Good from far, far from good.

• Marriage is like a dog with a bone, he might not touch it, just doesn't let another dogs come near it.

• Everyone believes in love, but wonder if it exists.

• How to prove?  If it comes back it is love.

• I don't even try to explain, I just hold on tight.

• If you want unconditional love - go to an ATM (purely transactional)

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